Snuffy Not Snuffed-Out Yet!

Well, this somewhat helps the problem mentioned earlier this week concerning the U.S. government's cuts to PBS funding. Keep in mind, though, that the reinstated $100 million is only a part of what was cut; they haven't gotten all their money back. I wonder how much PBS is still losing, then. Anyone know?

Smackdown Champeen!

Looks the problems I mentioned earlier about WWE's Raw now having BOTH the WWE title AND the World Heavyweight title are being addressed, though not in the way I expected: Smackdown is introducing a new championship. Too bad I only watched about half a minute of last Thursday's Smackdown, otherwise might've known this when I wrote the last Draft Picks review. Anyway, this new title will help even things between the two shows, but it still leaves things lop-sided. I wonder if they might not phase out either the Heavyweight title or the WWE title (Or maybe both, replacing them with a Raw Championship) to even things out.

WWE Draft Picks, Week 3

Another interesting week, though, to me, not as interesting as the last two weeks.

Carlito's on Raw and he's already made a splash by winning the Intercontinental title. Not sure what to make of this move, since I hadn't seen much of Carlito while he was on Smackdown. I remember he was doing Carlito's Cabana, a Piper's Pit style show for a while. If he's still doing that, then we may see him feud with Chris Jericho over who would get the rights to do an interview show, since Jericho semi-regularly has his own Piper's Pit in the form of The Highlight Reel. Two of these features would be redundant, so they could always fight it out over who gets to do it. It's angle I've never seen before. Besides, I'm sure Jericho wouldn't mind winning that Intercontinental title, either. Although, maybe they'll just move Jericho to Smackdown in the coming weeks (Which might also solve the problem of BOTH the Heavyweight Championship AND the WWE title both being on Raw if Jericho gets the WWE title at Vengeance).

Meanwhile, Muhammad Hassan and Daivari go to Smackdown. Quick question: Since when are draft picks a package deal? Shouldn't Hassan have been one pick and Daivari another? Anyway, who cares. I feel so sorry for Smackdown, as I absolutely hate Hassan's angle as an irate Iraqi who's in the WWE to get revenge for the American invasion of Iraq. I hate it when wrestling ties to get political. It's always so dumb, unsubtle and mindless, usually just fueling the audience's prejudices against foreigners. Because of this, I cannot stand to watch these two, which is too bad and rather unfair to Hassan as he's a skilled in-ring performer. At least on Smackdown there might be some fun with Hassan being played against JBL, the WWE's analogue to George Bush.

So far, I think Raw's gotten the better picks: Cena - Current WWE champ and, arguably, the company's largest draw; Angle - One of the company's best in-ring performers; Carlito - See above. Smackdown has gotten: Benoit - Great performer; Orton - Reliable, young "Legend-killer"; Hassan and Daivari - Ugh. To me it really looks like Raw is ahead. Combine that with Smackdown's upcoming move to Friday nights (Never a good night for television ratings) and I have to wonder what the state of that show is going to be...

A Reality Show for Those of Us Who Don't Like Reality Shows!

I just thought of a fun idea for a new Reality TV Series that should appeal to those of us more cynical about the genre: A show that follows some of the losers who have been voted off the island, fired or otherwise been booted off a competition-type reality show. We'd see, bird's-eye style, how their family and friends feel about it, how the losers adjust to returning to life outside the spotlight and, basically, just we'd get to have a good laugh at these poor schmucks. Each episode would follow a different loser. Given how much I've been using that word, let's call it, tentatively, "Losers." Sounds like a winner to me!

(Did that last sentence sound as bad as I thought it did?)

Has George Bush Committed Big Bird to a Slow Death?

Apparently the American government has made another bonehead play with their money: they've cut their funding of PBS stations by 25%.

As the linked article rightly points out, this comes at a time when said government is committing much of their resources to the war in Iraq (And, yes, it IS still a war. It may "officially" be over for two years now according to George, but given how much fighting is still going on over there, saying that it's over seems... optimistic at best). I guess when Mr. Bush took the job, someone forgot to mention to him that he's supposed to be running the United States, not any other countries. But I'm getting off topic...

This doesn't definitely mean an ending to any of the PBS produced programming, but it certainly can't help things. It's ironic, though, that this is the same government that instituted the "No Child Left Behind" plan for their schools, which was intended to help get their overall standard of education up (Though anyone who actually knows what "No one left behind" involves, though, will tell you that it's not as good as it at first seems).

Garg.

Code Lyoko review... but not here.

Wow. After almost a week of blog silence, I'm on a bit of a roll today. Third post in the last hour.

Anyway, I just finished up a review of the TV show Code Lyoko for TV.com. Go ahead and take a look.

HTML Editor!

Just in case you didn't notice, I've finally discovered not only WHAT an HTML editor is, but how to use it too! No more awkward url's cluttering things! Hot dog!

Marvel Team-Up featuring Spider-man and... Moses?!

First it's Noah being attacked by dinosaurs, and now I've discovered that Spider-man played several major roles throughout the Bible. Don't believe me? Check this out.

Wow. Y'know, Spider-man was the first everyman superhero. He was the first we could really identify with, what with all his money troubles, difficulties with girls and other hang-ups. But, after reading this, I'm identifying with him even more! There's nothing more believable than a guy in a weird costume who has been alive for thousands of years (Or however much time was meant to take place in-between the incident with the serpent in the garden of Eden and Jesus' death and rebirth). Quick question, though: When and how exactly did Spidey get his powers, then? There sure weren't any radioactive devices to irradiate any spiders in the book of Genesis (Or, for those of you hip to the movies rather than the comics, replace that last line with "There sure weren't any genetically-created superspiders in the book of Genesis.").

By the way, kids, "Don't do drugs!" It's always worth saying that, even at seemingly awkward moments. Try walking down the street and telling that to some random person. I'm sure they'll be grateful.

Finally, is it just me or does it sound like Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man is flirting with Jesus with that eggs and bacon comment?

WWE Draft Picks, Week 2

Another interesting week for the WWE draft, with both the Raw and Smackdown picks being some of the bigger names in wrestling.

So, one of the WWE's best performers, Kurt Angle, is now on Raw. He's already got two matches lined up, one against Batista next Monday, then another versus Shawn Michaels at Vengeance the following Sunday. Better yet, though, is the fact that this is a bit of a fresh start for Angle, who was in some questionable stories lately on Smackdown (Such as the feud with Booker T. and his wife. Oy.). Hopefully Raw can get better use out of the guy. He deserves it.

Meanwhile, Randy Orton shows up on Smackdown, quickly making his presence known by taking out the Undertaker. Presumably Orton, who's just returned after a break of several months due to a shoulder injury (Caused, in part, by the Undertaker himself), will feud with the 'Taker for the next little while. We'll see if ole "Legend-killer" Orton can actually get anywhere with that.

Some surprising developments here. Despite predictions from myself, and, I'm sure, many others, no second or third-stringers have been traded yet. Really makes you wonder who's next.

Not Dead Yet

For all of you who actually read this blog (All... uhh, I hope it's more than one person), I'm just typing this to say I'm still here and I have not abandoned the Turpentine. I just haven't had anything interesting to write about lately, therefore, not posts.

So, for the time being, enjoy this smartly-written review of a recent Justice League Unlimited episode and how it intentionally demonstrates what's wrong with current superhero comics:

http://www.websnark.com/archives/2005/06/spoilerific_ana.html

Look What Madonna's Done Now

So, Madonna's writing children's books now:

www.nickjr.com/parenting/parenting_features/reading/madonna_interview.jhtml

I'm speechless.

Professor X: Bonehead?

Professor Charles Xavier: Conscientious genius who holds several doctorates; Leading expert in the field of genetic mutation in the marvel universe; Founder of the X-men, mutant superheroes who battle for the rights of their kind; Paraplegic who has accepted his condition and refuses to bound by it. All remarkable accomplishments. So, why does this great man not have any wheelchair accessible ramps at his mansion? Neither does he have any of those elevator things that allow people in wheelchairs to go up stairways (Sorry if you get lost in all the technical detail. Trying my best to stick to Layman's, but...). This guy is rich! He's brilliant! He's in a wheelchair! What is going on here?!

WWE Draft Picks, Week 1

I only watch WWE's Raw and Smackdown occasionally, and almost never check out the peripheral shows, but still like to keep up with what's going on with the company. Right now, the thing that interests me most is the month-long draft, wherein 5 wrestlers from Monday Night Raw will move to Thursday's Smackdown, while 5 Smackdown superstars head over to Raw. Allegedly the choices are random, but, this being professional wrestling, I think we can safely say the results are pre-planned.

This week, one of the WWE's biggest draws, John Cena, heads over to Raw. I'm amazed. Being the WWE champion, I figured he would be immune, so as to keep the championship with Smackdown. As it stands, Raw now has BOTH "Best of" titles (As I refer to the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship) attached to it, while Smackdown has none. Does this mean current Heavyweight Champ, Batista (Or Triple H, if he wins back the title at Vengeance in a few weeks), will be heading to Raw to even things out? Surprising move. It'll be interesting to see how this works out.

Meanwhile, Smackdown gets Chris Benoit. I'm not exactly sure what to make of this. On the one hand, Benoit is a large draw for the company and it's always surprising (And risky) to see the bigger names being shuffled around. On the other hand, he isn't so huge that any change to his status quo might turn people away, so this doesn't shake things up too much. Still, Benoit's a great performer and will do well no matter which show he's on.

To round things off, I thought I would mention which trades I'm hoping to see in the coming weeks. I can't really think of that many wrestlers who would benefit by moving, but, personally, I'd like to see Ric Flair go to Smackdown. I've gotten tired of seeing him as The Game's stooge on Raw, and, unless Helmsley also moves, Smackdown would give him the opportunity to be on his own again. Aside from that, seeing a few more of the second-stringers shifted around could be good. If properly managed, this could really boost their careers. Remember how we all under-estimated Shelton Benjamin, but, when he was traded to Raw last year, he was given the opportunity to really show what he could do. He's a personal favorite now, but probably wouldn't be if he hadn't been in the draft. Maybe lightening will strike twice and another newer performer might surprise us, given this same chance.

Fun Links!

Time for some recommended online reading from me to you. If you think that last sentence sounds as dumb as I think it does, then check out the following fun websites to relieve any suicidal instincts it may have fostered in you:

-Girls With Slingshots: http://www.daniellecorsetto.com/gws.html
Isn't that the greatest name ever! A very (Very, very!) funny webcomic by Danielle Corsetto that's updated every Tuesday and Thursday. Lots of sexual humor (Of the smarter variety, luckily) and dirty language herein, so not for you young'uns or old maids!

-Wrestlecrap: http://www.wrestlecrap.com/default.html
R.D. Reynold's site that pokes fun at all the worst professional wrestling has to offer. You don't need to be into wrestling to enjoy this (Though it certainly couldn't hurt). Very funny stuff. He used to update every Friday, but R.D.'s feeling a bit burned out and has a baby on the way (No! HE'S not pregnant! His wife is. Jeez.), so they'll be dropping to once a month soon. Still, if the quality of the work is even half as good as the weeklies, it'll be worth the wait.

-X-Axis: http://www.thexaxis.com/index.html
I like X-men. So do a lot of people. X-axis is Paul O'Brien's site that takes a look X-men comics past and present (Yeah, there IS more X-men than what's on the big screen!). Always smart, well-thought out and entertaining.

-Seanbaby.com: http://www.seanbaby.com/
Nothing can escape the brutally funny Seanbaby! Read as he makes fun of old comic ads, Nintendo Power fan letters, stupid video games and tons of other lovably camp things.

There. That'll do for now. Enjoy.

Noah vs. the Dinosaurs!

"This event is NOT a fable and NOT a "myth"... it is a verifiable scientific fact!"

http://www.livejournal.com/users/theferrett/519211.html

I love this.

Apparently, this comic was done with an eye toward making it into a movie. Too bad that never happened. This could have been the domestic equivalent of "Destroy All Monsters" or some other campy monster movie.

Painted into a Corner?

J. Michael Straczynski (jms for short) has reviewed a draft of the script for the upcoming adaptation of Alan Moore and David Lloyds' comic series, V for Vendetta. Read his review here:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=litg&article=2163 (About two thirds down the page)

Straczynski makes some interesting points about how scripts need to be read, but he's arguably trapped in his own argument. He says, while commenting on another reviewer's take on the script: "There's an old saying: a book is like a mirror, if an ass peers in, you can't expect an apostle to peer out." In other words, if you're not clever enough to understand what you're reading, it'll seem stupid when you read it. It's all about context and what the reader is capable of understanding. jms clearly feels that the other reviewer is unable to do this properly. Fair enough. However (You knew that was coming), keeping Straczynski's argument in mind, is it not possible that jms is reading too far into the script, making it sound more intelligent than it may actually be? Just as stupid reader will misinterpret an intelligent piece of writing and find it to be dumb, is it not possible that a learned reader may misinterpret an idiotic work and take it as genius?

I haven't read the script in question. I have no take on it myself. It may be as brilliant as Straczynski says. It may not be. I don't know. Nor do I have anything against jms (Or the anonymous first reviewer of the script in question). I just find this to be an interesting situation.

More Star Wars!

Just stumbled on something fun: Star Wars fan films. Some of them are really good, too. Not cheap looking, like you might expect from fan videos. Some nice special effects and lots of friendly satire make them worth checking out.

My recommendations:

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/recruitment: A mock recruitment video for the galactic empire. The bit with the emperor's guards is my favorite. Watch for it.

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/real_men_empire: A fun tribute to those lower-ranking imperials.

http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/pink5 :A valley girl gets involved in the climactic battle of A New Hope. This can't be good. But it's plenty funny.

http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/pink5_strikes :The return of the afore-mentioned valley girl in a sequel that's better than the first! The Yoda and Obi-Wan impressions are surprisingly good.

http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/cheap_seats: A skit involving a rebel pilot who got a bad spot during Episode 4's award ceremony. The first half of this one is a bit slow, but it more than makes up for it later and I love the concept.

http://www.atomfilms.com/sw/content/love_of_the_film: The projector breaks during a screening of A New Hope. Oh no! What a disaster! Here's the... interesting solution.

Spider-man's webbing, circa 1967

Was just watching some of the old Spider-man animated series (You know, the one with the theme to which everyone knows the words), and came across some of the weirdest visuals I've ever seen. They involve Spider-man's... innovative use of his artificial webbing. At various points throughout the series, Spidey has created clubs, cork screws and other useful tools... all out of webbing! The best, though, is the fully functional motor boat. I'm not making this up. The boat, rotor and motor were all made from his webbing. Clever boy, our Spidey. I bet those fools at the glue company to whom Spidey once tried to sell his webbing in an early issue of Amazing Spider-man are feeling very stupid for turning down his offer.

Perfectionism... garg.

I'm a bit of a perfectionist. And I'd hate it if I didn't hate the thought of NOT being so conscious about everything I do.

See, I'm currently checking my collections of tv shows that I've taped, making sure that I have all the episodes, making double sure that I've made notes about what I'm missing and what's coming back for another season, things like that. The very fact that I'm doing this (And desperately worried that I'll miss something, only to discover it 10 years later when the shows no longer being played and I can't do anything about it. And don't say "Just buy the DVD's"; half of what I watch isn't available on DVD and I'm not banking on them ever becoming available that way) should give you an idea of how obsessive I can be. And is it annoying.

I'm not really sure what point I'm trying to make, nor can I really think of any proper conclusions to make. But I'll almost definitely be thinking about it for the rest of the day and wondering what I was thinking writing this when it's obviously not going anywhere. Guess I just needed to do something on the fly without having to fret over the details (And, on that note, please excuse any errors grammataical, spelling or otherwise. I'm writing on the fly and don't intend to proofread (Despite the fact that I usually DO proof everything I write). If you read this last paragraph, you can probably see why).

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith review

SPOILER WARNING

I actually went to see this about a week ago, but I wanted to re-watch all the other films in the series before actually coming to any conclusions about this newest entry.

The most impressive thing about this film was the character treatment of Anakin Skywalker (played by Hayden Christensen). Of course, anyone who's been following the series knows that, by movie's end, Anakin will have turned to the dark side and become Darth Vader. The real trick was making it interesting, and writer/director George Lucas delivers big time. There's a surprising amount of sympathy of built up for the young Dark Lord that makes his change of direction all the more tragic, yet believable. By the time he changes sides, he's been left confused about what the jedi order actually stands for. He's come to doubt many of his friends and allies in and outside the order. And, most importantly, he's seen visions of his wife dying and is desperate to prevent it from happening, even if that means learning a long-forgotten sith method of resurrecting the dead. The poor guy has always held his family in the highest regard and to first lose his mother in the previous movie and to soon lose his wife is heartrending. He was desperate when he made his choice.

Something else I really enjoyed about Episode 3 (And all the prequels, for that matter), has been the extra background we've gotten on the characters, situations and concepts of the Star Wars universe. The best examples of these have serve to strengthen what we've seen in the original trilogy. From small things, like Threepio's mindwipe, to larger elements, such as Leia's adoptive father, Bail Organa, getting much screen time, Revenge of the Sith helps give this universe more depth and near flawlessly bridges the gap between the prequel trilogy and the original films. Most importantly,we now know not only how important Anakin's family is to him, but also the lengths he will go to cheat death (Both the death of others, and of himself). Vader's ultimate sacrifice for Luke at the end of Return of the Jedi has always been a immensely powerful moment for the character. With what we know now about the character, it's even more climactic.

Staying on the topic of Anakin/Vader, I should mention the actor who portrays him outside of the black armor, Hayden Christensen. Just so you know, I don't count myself among the seeming majority who thought he was terrible in Episode 2. Yes, he was rather stiff, but he had his moments, especially in the scenes where Anakin was pushed to the limits of his temper. Christenson is much the same in this film, so if you hated him in Clones, I doubt this will convince you otherwise. If, like me, you saw some potential in is performance in the former installment, then you'll be glad to know that Christenson gets more scenes that play to his strengths.

As far as the other actors,Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi), Frank Oz (Yoda) and Samuel L. Jackson (Mace Windu), are at their best. Natalie Portman (Padme Amidala) is wooden, but passable. The real star, however, is Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sidious. Early on, before Palpatine is revealed as a Sith Lord, McDiarmid is wonderfully subtle and manipulative in his performance. Once the truth is out, he's delightfully twisted and melodramatic, but it completely works. Brilliantly over-the-top.

This being Star Wars, the special effects are, of course, a large part of the experience. As always, Lucas has pushed the limits of what the current technology can do and gets some very complex and dazzling visuals out of it. From a multi-dimensional battle in the orbit of Coruscant to the climactic showdown between Anakin and Obi-Wan on a wild lava planet, the effects are marvelous. The best the series has to offer. And that's saying a lot.

The soundtrack, by the always excellent John Williams, is, of course, amazing. From the familiar Star Wars theme and Imperial March to the newer compositions, Williams' score fits and augments every scene perfectly.

Unfortunately, no movie is perfect. Revenge of the Sith is no exception. The dialogue, for the most part, is without personality. It communicates what it needs to, but does little else. Also, quite possibly the worst scene of any of the Star Wars films is contained in Episode 3. It involves the first appearance of Vader in his trademark armor. The armor looks as great as always but everything else about the scene is embarrassing, from James Earl Jones' lackluster performance as Vader's voice, to the visual of a lumbering Vader ripping himself out of confinement all B-movie style. Vader fans, you've been warned.

So, the Star Wars series of films has come to end. Despite imperfections, it's gone out on a high note.